Lincoln Loud's Guide To Halloween
by Omega Ultra
Summary: One-Shot: It's Halloween in Royal Woods and how better to celebrate than for Lincoln to tell you his secret to having a successful night! Though, why are cute dolls involved?


**A/N Hey guys, first of all happy Halloween! Since I haven't posted anything on Saturday (Still working on that one-shot) I've decided to make a short story for Halloween! I hope you guys enjoy! R &R.**

 _Lincoln Loud's Guide To Halloween._

"Welcome dear children to the darkest fears inside!" A young, African-American boy greets, before motioning the group to enter his haunted house. "Come and join the fun, take a journey through the night!" Then, he uses his vampire cape to cover most of his face, as he carefully walks into his home.

"I do not understand this trivial practice." The young genius, Lisa Loud, declares, "What is the point of trying to increase adrenaline levels in your body for no reason?" She then adjusts her glasses and sleeves, before checking that the green fairy wings and toy antenna were still properly secured.

"I don't understand why you decided that dressing up like a bug was a good idea!" Lana shouts in response, before motioning at her costume, a ninja with a red belt around her waist. "People love tough girls! And ninjas!"

"Not true!" Lola counters, "They gave me the most candy last year! And I was wearing a magenta pageant gown!" Then she flips her hair at them, as if attempting to prove her supposed superiority.

"You're always wearing pageant gowns!" Lana hisses, "It's like those were the only clothes you got!"

"Come on guys!" Lincoln begs, his Ace Savvy costume glowing in the nighttime, "Clyde worked really hard to set this stuff up, and he promised us candy at the end as long as we told him the truth, so come on!"

"Ugh, fine Lincoln." Lola declares with a defeated tone, "But only because I was promised candy at the end." Then, she steps inside the modern home. "I wish to have flavored solid glucose and sucrose as well." Lisa declares, before following her.

"Hey! Wait up!" Lana shouts before following her sisters inside the home. With that, Lincoln sighs, "Dang it, what did I possibly do to deserve this? Babysitting three sisters on Halloween night."

The image of a flaming, clogged sink pops into his mind. "Oh right… never mess with Lisa's chemicals, and don't try to get rid of them by just pouring them down the sink."

With a lone sigh, he thinks, "Well Clyde, this better be better than your last four." Before he follows his three charges into the home.

"Welcome to my dominion!" Clyde declares, before motioning for the four to take a seat on his couch. The young man had decorated his home with all the orange and streamers he could have possibly carried. Pumpkins are randomly strewn about the floor, while the lamps had been replaced by clean jack-o-lanterns.

The darkness of the home gives it an atmosphere of tense tranquility.

" _Oh wow, Clyde went all out this year. Maybe this time he'll finally be able to scare someone other than his dads."_ Lincoln thinks, his heart racing with anticipation.

"Are you ready, for the most scary things ever created?!" Clyde asks excitedly, "Because ready or not, here they are!"

The four children lean forward in excitement, their hearts racing over what could possibly be Clyde's secret scare tactic.

"Behold! The Fluffals!" And with that he throws several random winged plush dolls in the air, "Behold their fear-inducing powers!"

A few moments of awkward silence pass, before Lincoln shouts, "Clyde! These aren't scary man!"

"But they want to hug you 'till you die!" He immediately retorts, "They come at you with everything they've got and try to bring you into their dark factory!"

Lincoln immediately responds by grabbing a pink bear and twisting its head off, "These are dolls man! They're not scary and how are mere toys going to force you into their factory?" Then, he takes another, this time a yellow lion, "These look like toys marketed towards little girls! There's no way that these things could possibly harm anyone!"

Clyde sighs in defeat, "Sorry Lincoln, I've just been unable to come up with anything scary!"

Lincoln pats his friend on the back, "Don't worry about it Clyde. Did you at least try to come up with a scary backstory for the dolls?"

The boy perks up, "Yeah!" Then he goes into his pocket and pulls out a small paper and begins:

"A Fluffal's tale is so quite nice, in fact, it's filled with sugar and spice. Deep in the hidden factory, liquid divinium-err love-is extracted from the earth and collected into huge vats. Each Fluffal is created with love in every stitch by people who love their jobs."

Then, he looks up and waits for the reaction.

"Yawn." Lola goes with her most annoying voice.

"Boring! Come on, Clyde, you can do better!" Lana responds.

"I do not seem to understand how you can put a drop of dopamine in every stitch of a doll." Lisa goes with a monotone voice; "It seems more like they'd have to harvest people for it."

A beat passes, before she continues, "Now how they would harvest the stuff is scary."

"Sorry I couldn't scare you guys." Clyde sadly goes. Yet, Lincoln just pats him on the back, "Don't worry man! You've still got the rest of the night to try and get us!" Then he motions for his sisters to come and join him, "We'll be back later, try setting something up for then."

The boy nods, before walking out of his home, "We'll bring you some candy!"

"Rats." Clyde whispers before throwing himself against the couch. "Another failure, why can't I seem to scare those guys?!"

Then, he looks upon the torn Fluffal bear, as well as the short backstory he had written. And immediately he feels an idea well up and burst forth. Without another word, he grabs his nearby pencil and writes: "Now a Fluffal's tale isn't quite as nice, as the story you knew of sugar and spice. But a Frightfur is easy, once you get to know it, with the help of the power of the Frightfur Factory."

"I know how to scare them!" He declares, before grabbing his nearest doll and running down into his basement and making a phone call.

* * *

"Come on Lincoln, hurry up!" Lana orders, as she rushes down the dark moonlit sidewalk.

"Yeah! We won't get that much candy if you keep dilly-dallying!"

Lincoln turns to the side and declares, "Halloween in Royal Woods is kind of a big deal." Then he motions at the multiple groups of children trick-or-treating, "Since Royal Woods is a small town, there are plenty of homes to get candy from! So tonight I'll present Lincoln Loud's guide to getting the most candy and surviving the night!"

"Rule one, map out the area." Lincoln declares, before pulling out a roll of paper, "Since Royal Woods is such a small town, everyone knows who is the best for candy!

"So if you want to get the most candy with your siblings you've gotta know which houses to hit." The young man then points at a rather sparsely decorated home. Seemingly designed to be a townhouse, with a mix of apartment in it, "That house over there, it's owned by the sweet old Fumpterfumpters. They're too old to decorate their home." Then he leads his three sisters over to their front door.

"But they love the holiday! And in fact give the most candy of anyone in town!" And with that the young man rings the door, his and his sister's excitement beaming on their faces.

It takes a few moments for the elderly couple to answer the door, but when they do they greet the kids with wide smiles.

"Oh my, what beautiful costumes you have!" The elderly woman shouts, joy filling her voice, while her husband continues in an equally joyous tone, "You look cute in those costumes kids!"

Then he squats down to their height, before grabbing one of the full bags of candy waiting by the door, "Since you're the first we've had tonight! Have all this candy!"

The kids stare at them in shock for a few moments, before all shouting, "Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Fumpterfumpter!" before Lincoln grabs the bag of candy, divides it amongst his sisters, turning and running back to the side walk. With his first example complete, Lincoln turns once more and declares, "Cool right? But planning also means knowing which houses to avoid."

He quickly scans the block for his next example, before pointing at a rather massive and extravagantly decorated home closer to the block's end, "That house over there belongs to the Oaks. Every year they spend so much time decorating that always forget to buy candy!" Lincoln's voice gains a bitter distaste, "Causing them to hand out cheap and unsweet trinkets like toothbrushes to anyone who dares to ask them for candy."

"Come on guys." He orders his sisters as they pass by the home.

 _A few hours later..._

With bags filled with candy in tow, Lincoln declares, "If you keep rule one in mind, getting home becomes harder. That's where rule two comes in, now that you've got your candy you've got to protect it!"

Lincoln carefully guides his sisters through the dark neighborhoods, making sure to check his surroundings every chance he gets. "You see, every year there are people who go around and try to scare the kids out of their hard-earned candy. That's why it's important to have a secure bag!"

Lincoln carefully looks around a corner before declaring, "Ok guys, coast's clear!" He declares before leading his sisters down another random block.

"We're almost home, just another block to go!"

*Groan* the four kids hear.

"Who's there?!" Lincoln shouts as he draws his signature Ace Savvy Attack cards, "I'm armed with cards!"

A figure steps out from the shadows, revealing an oversized Fluffal Bear costume.

"Aww." The Lola goes, while Lana readies her fists and Lisa just looks on skeptically.

Lincoln redraws his weapon, before chuckling, "Oh, haha for a second I thought it was something scary." Then he steps toward it, "I know you're in there! You can come out of the suit Clyde!" He declares... Only for Clyde to jump to his side dressed in a crudely made Fluffal dog costume.

"Roar!" He goes in a futile attempt to scare Lincoln and the girls.

"Enough acting Clyde, Fluffals aren't scary remember." Lincoln says with a bored tone.

A beat passes.

"Wait." He turns to his friend, then back at the bear, "If you're right here, than who's in the suit?"

Immediately the cute bear's eyes start to glow red, before massive scissors burst forth from its body and arms, tearing its stuffing off and forcing its stitching to stretch massively.

"It's a Frightfur!" Clyde declares, before turning to his friend, "I told you that Fluffals were scary! It's going to eat our souls and shove us in dolls!"

*Roar* the creature goes, before jumping at the group, scissors first.

Lincoln immediately turns and declares, "And when in doubt, go to rule three, run for your life!" And with that, he, Clyde and his three sisters scream in fear before running as fast as they could in the opposite direction.

With the kids out of the way, the girls takes off the suit's helmet and chuckles, "Clyde's plan worked." Then she starts laughing, "Fear the Fluffals! They are cute and deadly!"

Then Ronnie Anne steps over and grabs some of the candy they had dropped, "Good chocolate."

And with that she puts the suit's head on again, "Time to scare more kids!"

20-8-5 8-1-19-8-19-12-9-14-7-9-14-7 19-12-1-19-8-5-18 1-16-16-18-15-23-5-19!

 **A/N I hope you guys enjoyed! Feel free to send me ideas/prompts/advice!**


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